...rants by Asheesh Mehdiratta on Coaching, Transformation and Change

Category: experience

Do you ‘Attach to Detach’ in your coaching?

attachment detachment

Change agents (read Agile / DevOps / Lean coach’s etc.) are always interviewing, observing and empathizing with the teams and individuals. Attachment and Detachment – are part of every change agents personal journey.

Attach-Detach cycle

As part of the transformation journeys, we perform Coaching Kata’s and tend to enter the space of ‘attachment’ and then start to expect our teams to behave in the way we think they should. We get really attached to our teams and sometimes individuals, who look upon us as we start to show them the new ways of thinking.

5 Coaching Kata Questions

Sometimes we are able to help them see the new ways and other times we may not succeed, but finally at some point we have to ‘detach’ ourselves from the engagement for various reasons (sustainable model built, benefit-costs ratio achieved etc.)

But this engage-disengage cycle takes a heavy toll on the change agents, who have to be able to maintain a high level of stability, calm composure to the external world, though internally they might be facing anger, frustration or sometimes loss of the relationships built. Therefore, this detachment is never easy and the below quote summarizes it beautifully.

” The root of suffering is attachment “

the buddha

Dilemma – Solution ?

It is always a constant dilemma on how much ‘attachment’ you bring to your coaching engagement (empathizing with the team/individuals), and maintaining your inner peace and scorecard, which honors the inherent change inertia (read – you cannot really change any one!), and then be bold enough to detach with a smile on your face.

” The cessation of suffering is attainable through detachment”

The buddha

The solution is always within us, and each one of us have to learn to detach ourselves. We should let the team/individual chart their journeys at their pace, while we can only enable them and if possible show them the new ways.

So here’s wishing you ‘detachment’ from your ‘attachments’, as part of your coaching and transformation journeys, in the new year.

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Power of Acceptance Tests : Do you really know ?

Multiple teams struggle with story completions and miss their Definition of Done, and forget how the simple act of conversation via acceptance tests can really make them wiser and their lives less miserable !

So what really happens when you start writing acceptance tests “before” any implementation (of actual code or test code) ?

Here’s what I have experienced –
1. you tell – what you think no one knows
2. you tell – what you think only some of you know
3. you know now – what everyone else thinks that you already should have known
4. you now know  – what everyone else knows
5. everyone knows now – what everybody on the team knows

In the end  : You and everyone on the team are now wiser than you were before this conversation.

So go on and use the Power of Acceptance tests and Be Wiser.

Share your experiences and let me know what you have seen.

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