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...random thoughts on Coaching for Leaders & Teams

Tag: communication

The Feedback Struggle Every Team Leader Faces

May 24, 2025 /
team leader feedback challenges coaching transformation
Photo by Kelly on Pexels.com

If you’re leading a team, then you’ve probably faced this silent pressure:

You’re expected to hit ambitious goals, support your people, stay emotionally available, and somehow… give feedback that changes behavior without damaging trust.

And while we talk a lot about feedback culture in leadership circles, here’s the raw truth:

Feedback isn’t just a soft skill. It’s an emotional skill.
And most team leaders were never taught how to do it well.

Let me walk you through the real feedback challenges I see in coaching sessions with team leads—from first-time managers to seasoned department heads. You’ll see yourself in these patterns. And more importantly, you’ll learn how to start shifting them with support, practice, and leadership coaching.

Why Feedback Feels So Hard For Team Leaders

Feedback is supposed to be a conversation about performance.
But what it often becomes is an emotional landmine.
Why? Because it brings up…

  • Fear of hurting someone
  • Fear of being misunderstood
  • Fear of not having the right words
  • Fear of appearing weak, wrong, or unfair
  • Fear of being challenged

Even worse? The longer you delay giving feedback, the more emotional charge it carries. What could have been a quick check-in becomes a major confrontation.

And when feedback isn’t happening regularly or effectively, what happens next?

📉 Engagement drops
📉 Misalignment increases
📉 Frustration builds
📉 Attrition rises
📉 Results suffer

Now let’s unpack the six most common patterns I’ve seen in 1-on-1 coaching sessions with team leads—and how they unknowingly sabotage their leadership.

The Six Feedback Personas Holding Leaders Back

The Avoider: “I’ll bring it up later…”

Meet Mike
Mike notices a developer slipping on deadlines but keeps postponing the conversation. Three months later, the issue explodes in a client escalation.

🧨 Avoidance doesn’t preserve peace. It delays conflict—until it becomes unmanageable.

Coaching Insight:
Avoiders benefit most from scripts, practice sessions, and accountability structures to address small issues early.

The Defender: “You don’t understand the full context…”

Meet Sarah
Sarah asks for feedback but panics if it’s not praise. Her boss says the project timelines are unrealistic—she instantly blames external factors.

🧨 Defending isn’t understanding. It’s self-protection disguised as communication.

Coaching Insight:
Defenders need to build emotional agility—learning to pause, listen, and ask clarifying questions before reacting.

The Overthinker: “What if I’m not cut out for this?”

Meet Jennifer
Her VP casually mentions conversion rates dropped 5%. Instead of responding with curiosity, she spends the weekend doubting her entire leadership path.

🧨 Overthinkers turn feedback into identity statements.

Coaching Insight:
Overthinkers thrive in coaching that focuses on mindset reprogramming, emotional regulation, and practical reframing tools.

The Softener: “Maybe we could… try a little more?”

Meet David
David gives feedback that’s too vague. He says, “Let’s be a bit more mindful of quality,” instead of “The last 3 reports had errors—here’s what to improve.”

🧨 Soft feedback sounds polite—but creates confusion and stalls performance.

Coaching Insight:
Softer leaders benefit from structured feedback models like SBI (Situation-Behavior-Impact) to learn how to be clear without being cruel.

The Assumption Maker: “I heard this happened…”

Meet Lisa
Lisa gives feedback based on secondhand stories. She confronts her PM about a client call gone wrong—without checking what actually happened.

🧨 Assumptions erode trust and morale.

Coaching Insight:
Assumption-makers gain confidence when they learn to investigate, validate, and lead with curiosity rather than reaction.

The People Pleaser: “I agree with everyone—but I’m exhausted.”

Meet Robert
In leadership meetings, Robert agrees to tough decisions. Behind the scenes, he complains about how those decisions hurt his team.

🧨 Pleasers trade short-term peace for long-term chaos.

Coaching Insight:
People pleasers grow fast in coaching once they realize advocacy isn’t confrontation—it’s leadership.

Here’s the Good News: These Patterns Are All Coachable

If you see yourself in any of these roles—it’s okay.
You’re not broken.
You’re becoming.

Every single one of these patterns has shown up in brilliant, high-performing, emotionally intelligent leaders I coach.

The problem isn’t you.
The problem is you haven’t had a safe space to practice the emotional skill of feedback.

That’s where 1-on-1 coaching changes everything.

Why 1-on-1 Coaching Is the Missing Link in “Feedback Mastery“

Group workshops and webinars are great.
But they don’t give you:

✔ Personalized scenarios
✔ Private practice space
✔ Emotional pattern reflection
✔ Real-time feedback on your feedback
✔ Clarity around your leadership voice

With a coach, you can rehearse hard conversations.
You can unlearn defensive habits.
You can develop new scripts, templates, and rhythms that make feedback feel natural—not forced.

You can become the kind of leader your team actually wants feedback from.

What You’ll Learn in 1-on-1 Coaching for “Feedback Mastery“

Here’s what we’ll cover together in customized sessions:

✅ Your Default Feedback Triggers
Discover how you emotionally react to tension, correction, and confrontation.

✅ The 6 High-Trust Feedback Habits
From how you open a conversation to how you follow through.

✅ The Feedback Flow Model™
A proven sequence that helps you prepare, deliver, and debrief any feedback conversation with clarity and calm.

✅ Live Rehearsals + Feedback Refinement
Roleplay tough situations in a safe space. I’ll help you refine your tone, language, and posture.

✅ Receiving Feedback with Confidence
Build emotional resilience so you can listen fully—even when it stings.

✅ Create Weekly Feedback Rhythms
We’ll co-design a rhythm for giving and receiving feedback that feels organic and repeatable.

This Isn’t Just Leadership Development—It’s Leadership Liberation

When you know how to give feedback…

🌱 Trust grows
🔍 Performance improves
🧭 Decisions become clearer
🧠 Emotional labor becomes lighter
❤️ Your team feels seen, safe, and supported

And you, leader, feel equipped.

Let’s Talk 1-on-1

If this spoke to you—and you’re ready to become a more confident, emotionally-skilled communicator and feedback leader…

Let’ chat ! I offer coaching sessions. They are designed to help team leaders create high-performing teams. Feel free to Book a 30 minutes FREE Discovery session.

Still Thinking About It? Ask Yourself:

  • What feedback have I not said this week?
  • What feedback have I not received—because I haven’t made space for it?
  • Who on my team would thrive if I simply got better at this?

Then let’s get to work—together.

Let’ chat ! I offer coaching sessions. They are designed to help team leaders create high-performing teams. Feel free to Book a 30 minutes FREE Discovery session.

👉 Follow me for more insights and actionable team leadership tips and team building strategies!

decorative cake with fruits
Photo by Ionela Mat on Pexels.com

Are you struggling to close the communication gaps in your team?

February 23, 2025 /

Effective communication is one of the biggest drivers of team performance.

Yet, misunderstandings and information gaps cost companies thousands of dollars in wasted time and rework. A recent SHRM study found that miscommunication costs businesses $12,506 per employee per year.

As a leader, your ability to create clarity, engagement, and alignment is crucial.

Here are five powerful, research-backed strategies to bridge communication gaps and build a stronger, more productive team.

1. The “Walk-and-Talk” Method – Enhance Engagement

Why it works:
Stanford University research shows that walking meetings boost creative thinking by 60%. They improve engagement by breaking the traditional power dynamic of face-to-face meetings.

✅ Action Tip for Leaders:

  • Replace weekly one-on-one meetings with outdoor or hallway walks.
  • Use walking discussions for sensitive topics, reducing confrontation.
  • Keep the conversation open-ended—let the team member talk more than you.

🔹 Key Questions to Ask:

  • “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?”
  • “If you had full control, what would you change?”
  • “How can I support you better?”

✅ Example: A tech manager replaced formal performance reviews with “walk-and-talk” feedback sessions. Employees reported feeling more comfortable, which led to higher engagement and honest discussions.

2. Implement the “Teach-Back” Technique – Ensure Clarity

Why it works:
Harvard Business Review found that 70% of employees misunderstand key instructions after meetings. The Teach-Back Method ensures clarity by having team members explain key takeaways in their own words.

✅ Action Tip for Leaders:

  • At the end of meetings, ask: “Can you summarize our next steps in your own words?”
  • Assign rotating meeting scribes to document key takeaways and action points.
  • Instead of asking “Did you get that?”, say “What’s your understanding of this?”

🔹 Key Questions to Ask:

  • “How would you explain this to a new team member?”
  • “What are the first steps you will take after this meeting?”
  • “Are there any unclear areas that we should clarify?”

✅ Example: A project manager introduced teach-back reviews in weekly meetings. Within a month, the team reduced miscommunication errors by 30% and improved execution speed.

3. Use “High-Touch” Check-Ins – Reduce Email Overload

Why it works:
A McKinsey study found that professionals spend 28% of their workweek managing emails. This leads to message overload and missed information. Short verbal check-ins cut down unnecessary digital clutter.

✅ Action Tip for Leaders:

  • Replace long email updates with quick 5-minute morning huddles.
  • Use voice notes instead of long text-based instructions.
  • Limit emails to action items and essential updates only.

🔹 Key Questions to Ask:

  • “What’s the most important thing on your plate today?”
  • “What’s blocking your progress, and how can I help?”
  • “What’s one thing you need more clarity on?”

✅ Example: A finance team replaced email updates with 10-minute stand-ups, cutting down unnecessary emails by 40% while improving efficiency.

4. Set “No-Interruption” Speaking Rules – Ensure Everyone is Heard

Why it works:
MIT’s Human Dynamics Lab found that high-performing teams have equal participation in discussions. If the loudest voices dominate, you risk losing valuable input from quieter team members.

✅ Action Tip for Leaders:

  • Implement a “round-robin” speaking format where each team member must contribute before decisions are made.
  • Use a “talking object” (like a pen or ball) to structure speaking turns.
  • Ensure introverted team members submit written input before meetings.

🔹 Key Questions to Ask:

  • “I haven’t heard from you yet—what’s your take on this?”
  • “Let’s pause—who else has a different perspective?”
  • “What’s one thing we haven’t considered?”

✅ Example: A product team introduced no-interruption rules in brainstorming sessions. Within a month, engagement from quieter employees increased by 45%, leading to more diverse ideas.

5. The “90-Second Rule” for Conflict Resolution

Why it works:
The Journal of Applied Psychology found that when teams address misunderstandings within 90 seconds, they greatly improve their resolution chances. Their chances improve significantly. They are 75% more likely to resolve them without ongoing friction.

✅ Action Tip for Leaders:

  • Implement a “speak-up now” policy—any miscommunication must be addressed within 90 seconds of noticing it.
  • Use neutral phrasing to encourage constructive discussions.

🔹 Key Questions to Ask:

  • “Let’s clarify this now—what’s your understanding?”
  • “I hear your concern. What’s a good way forward?”
  • “How can we prevent this from happening again?”

✅ Example: A sales team introduced the 90-Second Rule in meetings. It reduced conflicts by 30% and improved interdepartmental collaboration.

Conclusion

🚀 Great communication isn’t about talking more—it’s about talking smarter.

By using walking meetings, leaders can create a culture of clarity. They also use teach-back methods, which foster collaboration. Structured speaking formats and instant conflict resolution are also employed. Together, these create a culture of clarity, collaboration, and accountability.

📌 Follow me for more research-backed leadership strategies!

BONUS: Leadership Cheat Sheet – Key Questions to Improve Communication

✅ For Daily Check-ins:

  • “What’s the most important thing on your plate today?”
  • “Where do you need more support?”
  • “Is there anything blocking your progress?”

✅ For Meetings & Feedback Sessions:

  • “Can you summarize this in your own words?”
  • “What’s one takeaway from this discussion?”
  • “What could we do differently next time?”

✅ For Conflict Resolution & Decision-Making:

  • “What’s your perspective on this?”
  • “What’s the real issue here?”
  • “What’s one solution we can agree on?”

🚀 Strong communication builds high-performing teams. Let’s make it happen!

Want to improve communication in your team? Let’s chat! I offer coaching sessions designed to help leaders create stronger, high-performing teams.

👉 Follow me for more insights and actionable team leadership tips and team building strategies!

6 Hidden Gaps Holding Your Team Back

February 13, 2025 /
brown rock formation under blue sky
Photo by Ralph David on Pexels.com

Ever felt like your team isn’t on the same page, despite regular meetings and updates? You’re not alone. Poor communication is one of the biggest barriers to team success—but often, the real gaps go unnoticed.

Here are six hidden communication gaps and how you can fix them:

1. “Assumption Gap” – Assuming Everyone Understands

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make?

Assuming clarity. Just because you explained something doesn’t mean it was understood.

Fix It:
✅ Encourage “repeat-backs” – Have team members summarize key takeaways.
✅ Use simple, direct language instead of jargon.
✅ Give written follow-ups after key discussions.

✅ Example: A sales team misinterpreted new pricing guidelines, causing confusion with clients. After implementing written recaps, errors dropped significantly.

2. “Tool Overload Gap” – Too Many Communication Channels

Teams often juggle emails, Slack, Zoom, project boards, and more. This leads to information overload and lost messages.

Fix It:
✅ Define a clear communication hierarchy (e.g., Slack for quick updates, email for formal info).
✅ Reduce tool clutter—stick to essential platforms.
✅ Set response expectations for different channels.

✅ Example: A software team cut unnecessary Slack channels, reducing distractions and improving focus.

3. “Hierarchy Gap” – Leadership is Out of Touch

Employees often hesitate to voice concerns to leadership, leading to blind spots in decision-making.

Fix It:
✅ Implement reverse Q&A sessions where leadership listens instead of talking.
✅ Conduct anonymous feedback surveys to find hidden challenges.
✅ Make leadership more accessible with informal check-ins.

✅ Example: A CTO held “Ask Me Anything” sessions, allowing engineers to voice concerns. This led to critical process improvements.

4. “Silent Team Members Gap” – Not Everyone Speaks Up

In every team, there are louder voices that dominate discussions, while others hesitate to contribute. This creates an imbalance in decision-making.

Fix It:
✅ Use round-robin speaking in meetings to ensure equal participation.
✅ Encourage written input before discussions so everyone’s ideas are heard.
✅ Create a culture where no idea is dismissed too quickly.

✅ Example: A design team required all members to provide feedback before meetings. As a result, quieter team members contributed innovative ideas that were earlier overlooked.

5. “Remote vs. Office Gap” – Disconnected Hybrid Teams

Remote employees often miss out on spontaneous office discussions, leading to information gaps and decision delays.

Fix It:
✅ Default to virtual-first meetings to ensure equal participation.
✅ Document key discussions and share them transparently.
✅ Rotate “meeting facilitators” to ensure everyone’s input is valued.

✅ Example: A company started using Slack threads for post-meeting summaries. This ensured remote employees had the same updates as in-office staff.

6. “Unspoken Expectations Gap” – Lack of Clarity on Priorities

When deadlines and priorities aren’t crystal clear, teams waste time working on the wrong things.

Fix It:
✅ Define top 3 priorities at the start of each week.
✅ Use a visual project board to track status.
✅ Encourage regular “priority check-ins” with team leads.

✅ Example: A marketing team introduced a Monday priorities review. As a result, they improved alignment and reduced last-minute rework.

Conclusion

Small communication gaps can lead to big inefficiencies. But by identifying and addressing these hidden barriers, you’ll build a more connected, productive, and engaged team.

Which gaps resonate with you ?

Want to improve communication in your team? Let’s chat! I offer coaching sessions designed to help leaders create stronger, high-performing teams.

👉 Follow me for more insights and actionable team leadership tips and team building strategies!

Preventing Miscommunication: 3 Key Steps for Teams

January 7, 2025 /

Miscommunication is a common yet critical issue that can undermine team productivity. It starts with minor misunderstandings. These are a missed email or a misinterpreted comment. But, these small errors can quickly escalate. They erode trust and hamper collaboration. As Team leaders, we can set clear expectations. We should promote open dialogue and leverage communication tools. These actions not only enhance our team dynamics but also boost team productivity.

Miscommunication – Identifying the Root Causes:

Miscommunication often arises from unclear expectations, assumptions, or varying communication preferences. For instance, one team member excels with detailed, written instructions, while another prefers quick, verbal updates. These differences, if not addressed, can lead to frustration and decreased efficiency.

How to Deal with Miscommunication in Teams:

1. Set Clear Expectations:

Establishing clear expectations is foundational for minimizing misunderstandings. Here’s how to do it effectively:

  • Kick-off Meetings:
    • Begin projects with a detailed kick-off meeting where goals, roles, and timelines are clearly defined. Use visual aids like project charters to reinforce key points.
  • SMART Goals:
    • Encourage teams to set Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART) goals. This clarity helps align efforts and reduces ambiguity.
  • Regular Updates:
    • Implement weekly updates to revisit goals and adjust expectations as needed, ensuring everyone remains aligned.

2. Promote Open Dialogue:

Creating a culture of open dialogue is crucial for team cohesion. Here are techniques to facilitate this:

  • Active Listening Workshops:
    • Conduct sessions where team members practice active listening skills, ensuring they fully understand messages before responding.
  • Safe Space Creation:
    • Foster an environment where team members feel safe to express concerns. Use anonymous feedback tools like surveys to gather honest input.
  • Structured Check-ins:
    • Use structured check-ins like daily stand-ups or weekly team meetings. These offer a consistent forum for discussing progress. They also help in addressing issues.

3. Leverage Communication Tools:

Harnessing the right tools can streamline communication and make information more accessible:

  • Project Management Platforms:
    • Use tools like Teams or Trello to organize tasks, track progress, and keep everyone informed. These platforms reduce the reliance on scattered email threads.
  • Instant Messaging Etiquette:
    • Implement guidelines for using instant messaging tools like Slack. Encourage clarity in messages, use of channels for specific topics, and setting status updates to show availability.
  • Document Repositories:
    • Keep a centralized document repository using tools like Google Drive or SharePoint. This ensures that all team members have access to the latest information.

Final Thought:

Proactively addressing miscommunication can prevent minor issues from escalating into major obstacles. Leaders can foster a transparent and cohesive team environment by setting clear expectations. They achieve this by promoting open dialogue and leveraging effective communication tools. Improved communication not only enhances team dynamics but also boosts overall productivity and morale.

Ready to Transform Your Team?

If you’re facing communication challenges in your team, I can help. Contact me for expert team coaching tailored to your unique needs and increasing the systemic awareness in your teams.

Let’s work together to create a thriving, connected team that achieves more, together!

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